I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize