i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
