Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
