I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
