im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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