so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
