you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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