New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
