I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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