Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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