susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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