imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
