As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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