Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
