OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
