I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
