I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
