i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
