..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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