When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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