maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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