I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i just google imaged poop.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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