my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
