I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
