That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
