When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
