i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
