We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
