this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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