Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
