ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
