What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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