i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
