Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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