I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
