he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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