His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
