i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
