you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
