Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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