jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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