Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
