man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
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Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
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I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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