At least make sure they are 18
Why
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
