she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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