remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
