We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I want to be your penis for a week.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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