It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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