My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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