I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
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Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
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Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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