What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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