Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
