Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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