So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
