so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
