i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
