Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
