Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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