if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
