Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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