you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
