3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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