You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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