Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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